My name is Natalie and I suffer from poor spatial awareness.  Which means I always manage to catch my hip on the side of a table, I can trip over things that are non existent and once even managed to nearly tip headfirst into a rubbish bin when I was leaning over a railing to throw some rubbish away.  But until recently I had never seriously hurt myself.  However on Wednesday afternoon I managed to “Klutz It Up” beautifully.

I tripped on a little pathway and fell right knee first onto some concrete.  I had the wonderful slow motion feeling of this won’t be good.  And then when I looked down I could see a deep gash and something white that I suspected was knee cap (it turned out to be tendon)  I did the lying on the ground whimpering thing for a while.  Realised that wasn’t getting results so I then hobbled along up the stairs to work.  Where team Intuto came into action, got me bandaged up and off to the local medical centre.  Where I was diagnosed as having a 4cm long laceration just below the knee and a small tear on the tendon.

I then discovered for myself all the benefits of living in New Zealand and having Accident Compensation.  I got great care and attention, an ambulance ride, stitching and drugs without having to open my wallet once.

So is what I have learned from the experience – so you don’t have to.

  • Spoodles are very cute and all, and look great in an Elf suit.  But they are bloody useless when you are lying on the ground in a big heap

Billie Elf                                      The dog above is not Lassie

  • Maybe if you have a Spoodle that runs away and means you have to retrieve her from a garden path, she isn’t ready to come to work.  Even if she looks Uber Cute in her Elf suit
  • A fully equipped first aid kit is a must at a work place (and some one who knows how to use it)
  • When someone says you are fine, but is going green around the gills when saying it, maybe you aren’t fine
  • Surgeons are good and all, but they do nasty stuff like pour pure alcohol into your wound to clean it.  This is not a nice thing
  • Spatial awareness does not improve when your leg is in a splint
  • It is possible to have a bath, but first you need a bath (thanks Crowne Plaza) and someone nice who is prepared to get in the bath with you and hold your leg up.  Thanks Brett.
  • Although Accident Compensation was great on the day of the incident, you need to follow up straight away and get a client number etc.  Because they certainly won’t be offering anything extra
  • I am very glad to live in a First World Country – even with it’s problems where I get access to antibiotics, tetanus shots and first rate medical care (even if alcohol was too liberally applied and not in the way I like)
  • I am actually not a complete sooky bubba.  The surgeon said I was very brave – although he didn’t give me a lollypop when I asked

Hurty knee This is known as a Zimmer splint.  I think because it always “Zims” down to the bottom of my ankle, and doesn’t stay in place

So my darlings that was my Wednesday last week.  I am on the mend now, back at work, making my poor colleagues run around after me (nothing new there) and should be able to have my stitches removed on Boxing Day – all going well.   I might need to book into the Crowne Plaza and have another special bath with my bath buddy to celebrate


Silly Season

Well it is that time of the year when everything gets a bit crazy and frantic.  Trucks have accidents in motorway tunnels, a major news item is dogs that can drive cars (not that it isn’t cool)  I would teach Billie to drive the Fiat but frankly I am exhausted from getting Lauren to her Restricted level without taking on Billie.  And a poor woman kills herself because she was a victim of a radio prank.

Personally I hate prank phone calls, I will switch the radio off because I feel so humilated for the person taking the call, and also as someone who answers phones for a living, I know how easy it can be to get caught up in a conversation because you are trying to be polite.  I will never ever reveal the incident where I was was fooled into revealing my bra size and perferences to a pervert who rang me at work because he said he was doing a survey for Berlei.  True story bro, but as I said luckily no one knows about that.  (I was a lot younger then, I would have soo much more information to give that man now)

But… I do feel that that poor woman may have had a few more issues going on in her life and feeling responsible for connecting a prank call may have just been the trigger for a whole lot of other stuff.  Especially at this time of year, when there is so much pressure to be happy, organised and fabulous.  Having said that I personally feel that if you have to make a joke at someone else’s expense and cause them embarrassment, you aren’t that funny and you are actually being a bully.

Which leads me on to a couple of other things.  A good friend of mine currently has a job she loves and it is practically perfect in every way.  But she has to deal with another woman who is the classic work place bully.  Her co worker enjoys putting her down, undermining her and generally creating mayhem.  When she brings it up with management (men by the way), their response is, that is just her way, and we told you she was a bit difficult.  In my view workplace bullies are just mad, bad and dangerous to know.  They have enough emotional intelligence to put in the knife, but not enough to care about the consequences of their nasty actions.  In a perfect world, they would be put against the wall and forced to listen to Chipmunks Christmas Carols *for hours on end, until they saw the error of their ways.

And another good friend of mine has had to go through the very sad experience of watching her mother suffer and die from cancer.  I attended her funeral on Saturday.  And while it was tremendously sad, what a wonderful celebration of a life it was.  There were so many people both friends and family who had so many happy and funny memories about Margaret.  She really lived life to the full and had a lot of fun doing it.  You can’t ask for much more than that.

So what I am really trying to say, (and excuse me for waxing a bit philosophical – I said it was the Silly Season) is even if the turkeys get you down and they are out there (particularly at this time of the year)  We are eventually get parted from each other far too soon as it is, without resorting to desperate measures.  And remember there is a special room in Natty Hell for workplace bullies, stupid DJ’s, car park thieves, masters of the subtle and not so subtle putdown where the Chipmunk music never stops and they get told to just “get over it”

Because I just feel my blog is undressed without a photo or two.  Here is picture taken a few years ago now.  It looks like it was summer time in Te Poi where we farmed until I was 6. 

I reckon I must have been about 3 and my sister Julie who is on top of Dad must have been about 1.  Mum’s dog Jake is beside us – have I mentioned dogs are an important theme in our family?  Anyway I think it is pretty cute.  And no wonder I got mistaken for a boy lotsImage

* I say that because Lauren and I listened to one Chipmunks Christmas Carol the other day and we very nearly went postal.  So the perfect punishment I feel


Culling Friends

It was a big weekend here in Pt Chevalier.  This weekend I had a major cull of some of my most precious friends.  I am referring of course to my books.  I have always had a reasonable sized library of books.  I remember getting my first Famous Five for my 8th birthday.  And I was in 8 year old heaven.  I was allowed to lie in bed reading my Famous Five ( Five Run Away Together) and my book still has chocolate stains on the some of the pages.  Bed, Book, Birthday and Chocolate.  Does it get much better than that?  I think not.

Anyway, as I said I have always had a substantial book collection, which is fine when you are living in one place, but it does become problematic when you move around a lot as you do in your 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.  But I think books help make a home, so many of them have been lugged from pillar to post.  And for the last 5 years, since we have been in our house in Pt Chev, an awful lot of them have languished in their boxes.

Anyway, Mr Brett the designer (and cleaning God) of Pt Chev, has arranged for a beautiful book shelf to be built and it being installed in a couple of weeks.  So this weekend was the weekend to go though the boxes of my darlings and make the hard decisions of who was to go and who was to stay.


  • Angelique Series
  • Anything by Susan Howatch
  • Anything by Antonia Fraser
  • My Mitford Series – including all biographies, autobiographies etc pertaining to the Mitfords
  • 50 Shades of Grey Series (jokes)
  • Probably too many biographies and autobiographies
  • Enid Blytons
  • Care of Poodle books
  • The Twilight Series (not a joke sometimes a trashy vampire series is required reading)
  • Gorgeous Travel Books
  • The Hobbit


  • The Carpet Baggers.  Surely that belongs in a bach somewhere
  • Anything that I have read once but know I won’t pick up again
  • Travel books that have people living fabulous lives with the greatest of ease – yeah right
  • Books that relate to work or self improvement
  • Anything too depressing or worthy.  Let’s face it those books are coming out all the time I can always get more

Amazingly enough I filled 5 boxes with books that had to go.  I did bid them all a fond farewell, but there must be someone out there that needs them more than I do.  Thank you for entertaining me, educating me and in some cases infuriating me.        But you can do greater good out of your boxes and in the real world.  And if you help earn a $1 each for the local church fair, well even betterer.  (Atheist Lauren did wonder why I was helping out a church group – because they asked Lauren, and they will take my babies off their hands)

And I won’t be too distraught for as you can see,  a few are still left

PukapukaAnd there is always my Kobo that now has 135 books stored in it’s magical brain.

I will post photos when the book shelf goes up because I can assure you will be a thing of beauty.  Well and truly worthy of the Twilight Series and Angelique.